Where are you?

I am sorry,

I drove you away,

for cowardice,

for ignorance, 

for despair.

I am sorry, 

I was the one to betray you,

to slay you,

in the very essence of your being.

I am sorry, 

I did not see your mission,

violated your holy body,

spat on your Divine Feminine.

I am sorry, 

I drove you away,

forcing you in the lands of Hades,

leaving you there,

to aguish in horror

in disgrace,

in dispair.

I am sorry, 

I still have not,

the fearlessness you ask of me.

I am sorry,

I still stumble with doubt,

and hide myself,

behind my fears.

I am sorry I lost the thread of my life,

renounced upon my calling.

I am sorry that my terror is still greater than my courage.

I am sorry, where ever you are my Soul.

(gestated and written as Saturn conjunct my natal Neptune-Moon opposition, recalling when Pluto opposed my natal Moon in 1992)

This following is the video that inspired all of the above:

Where are you? 

Little girl with broken wings but full of hope.... 

Where are you? 

Wise women covered in wounds...... 

Where are you? 

Today is the day

I will not sit still and give in anymore 

Today I rise

I am bruised but I will get up and walk again

Today I rise 

I don’t care if you ignore my beauty

Today I rise

Through the alchemy of my darkest nights I heal and thrive

Today I rise 

I move through the world with confidence and grace

I open my eyes and I am ready to face

My wholeness as a woman and my limitless capacities 

I will walk my path with audacity

Today I rise

I reconnect with the many aspects of myself

I am in awe of the reality I can create

I am a healer 

I am a queen

A wise women - A wild woman

I will rise and beam 

I am a rebel 

I will wake up and fight

I am a mother and I am a child

I will no longer disguise my sadness and pain

I will no longer suffer and complain 

I am black and I am white 

There is no reason to hide

Where are you....

I call upon Kali 

To kiss me alive

I transform my anger into power

No more heartache or strive 

The world is missing what I am ready to give

My wisdom, My sweetness, My love 

And my hunger for peace

I weep with the trees and the rivers and the earth in distress 

I rise and shine and I am ready to go on my quest 

Today I rise 

Without doubt or hesitation 

Today I rise 

Without excuses –Without procrastination

Today I call upon my sisters to join

A movement of resoluteness and ....concern

Today is the day I rise and scream

Today I foresee the future of my dreams!

Today is my call to action............ I will fulfill my mission

Without further distraction. 

Today is the day! 

Today I will start 

To offer the world

The 

Wisdom of my heart. 

"The Wise at Heart Community"

Scorpionic Delirium

Last night I meet my physical limits.

I danced with my own madness,

And the rawness of unexpected, unexpressed, 

explosive, visceral fear.

I walked blindly the valley of Scorpio

Where life and death passionately mingle.

I tasted cold pungent sweat,

And repeated uncontrolled violent retching,

Coming from life's abyssal dark core:

Anger, fear, abuse and transformation.

I succumbed to delirium,

My thoughts scattered,

Yet narrating intimate emotions,

Hardly aired in a lifetime.

My movements,

Violent, haphazard.

As if bitten by a tarantula,

In a scary hypnotic trance.

My teeth clenched,

As if trying  to hold on to something,

Quickly escaping away.

Whilst profound, continuous moans, 

Accompanied chattering teeth,

Sensing the liberating cold lucidity of death,

Just beyond that thin line, 

I was quickly approaching.

Quick shallow breath, 

kept the beat of a crescendo,

Dry tongue tasted acid,

Parched lips alternated foul language & devoted prayer.

I had an option to escape,

But dared to trespass and walk the path.

For this time, 

I managed to emerge sanely to the other side,

And live to tell the tale