Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Ostara 2012?

This morning my alarm clock rang at exactly 6:15am at the same time as the Spring Equinox entered the Northern hemisphere.
Ostara was here and I have to confess I felt dread.
Yes you read well dread.
Spring means change, spring means life, spring means longer days and shorter nights.
Spring means the joy of life, of movement, of looking ahead with the promise of better things.... and Spring means all chaos will come back near the sea with music till late at night and my sleepless nights.
I have been blocking everything in my life.
Some days ago I would have said I feel blocked but now I am fully aware that it is me that I am blocking myself to move on, to press that gas and get myself out of the rut.
I am blocking everything out of fear. Fear of change. 
As a good Virgo I love my routines, my plans, my comfort zone of knowing things will proceed in a certain way. As a rising sign Aquarius this situation is too tight for my freedom of thought.
That part of me that wants change, keeping a status quo for the simple reason of keeping things in situations I (the Virgo) can somehow control, is not actually what the I (Aquarius) is happy about. So inner conflict is a daily staple food which is ruining my health.
Seems that Mercury, Mars and Saturn retrograde have finally succeeded in passing the message. Mercury has claimed my mobile yesterday evening. Strangely enough I was sort of prepared. I had nearly everything backed up except my latest photos.
Why all this fear of change? I am not new to change. I had ample change in life and at the end of the day, looking backwards, it has always happened for my best. Why am I so resentful to embrace the change that is knocking at the door?
Most probably because as I've learnt from the other changes in my life, change comes with a price, of loosing a situation, of loosing someone, of changing work, of changing house, of changing country. Because once I open my heart to change there is no way of stopping what is the eventual natural dynamics of the Universe.
Spring summons change. Ostara is here with all of her Renewal Magic. Am I ready to humbly embrace it?


Kris said...

You're not alone in fearing change, so at least you can take comfort in that. Change is beautiful if you can somehow (easier said than done) learn to embrace that it is a fundamental part of life, like breathing — to stop change is to die.

I spoke to my mum today who was preparing to mourn the loss of a precious canine family member. We are all upset and very sad, but she was upset because of the pain involved in saying goodbye to loved ones and would rather not connect with people or animals in order to avoid the pain of loss, the agony of letting go. But, as clichéed as it is, it is so much more enriching to experience the good and remember the happiness and blessing than to worry of the pain involved in letting go. I know that I am generalising a lot and change, in general, is very difficult, especially when it is an annual or routine event, as it sounds like what you are describing, but maybe the change that you can embrace and love is a change in the way you approach change (have I confused you? I confuse myself!).

No matter what, the people you love and who love you will support you and do their best to make you smile, even if change is hard to smile at. And I'll be here.

Un abbraccio,


Acquafortis said...

My today's (21st March 2012) Morning Horoscope:
Change is all around you, and while you may not relish it, you know perfectly well that it's essential to growth and life. Embrace it and you are sure to end up feeling better tonight.
Seems the Universe wants to be very clear about the message.

Kris said...

Whoa! That's... yep, that's pretty straightforward. Go, Universe!

Coraggio <3

Ila East said...

Just what I was going to say. Instead of looking back at what ou think you are "losing" look forward to what you are gaining. If the change is going to happen regardless of how you feel, then embrase it with open arms and assist as much as you can.

Fighting a change that you have no control over is useless, but accepting it with open arms is much less stressful on a person.