Only the Universe knows how grateful I am to be celebrating this day.
This last year, especially the later half has been a sort of dark night of the soul. I came in contact with even further darker sides of myself.
Dark shadowy mysterious parts that have long claimed to be heard and given attention to.
It was the culmination of a nearly 12 year period.
I suffered fractures both physically and mentally.
I shall never forget the moment I fell from that bike on August 17th 2012 at around 11 am in Veluwe, Holland , amongst those beautiful Pine trees that I had been seeing pictures of during my previous meditation practice.
I hit the asphalt with such a force that literally and metaphorically took the breath out of my life and pressed the reset button, for all, in a split second, to be irrevocably changed.
The smashing of the perceived self.
The temporary lost of physical strength and self awareness.
The humility to ask for help.
The continual stabbing pain that numbs the mind and destroyer of sleep.
The lost of a spiritual mentor.
The anger of being accused and misunderstood for things never done.
The anger of being “betrayed” by the person I thought was infallible and trusted blindfolded
The loss of a second mother that helped me find my first.
The finding of assistance from unexpected sources.
The dawning awareness that my partner has always been there in all these years silently sustaining me...awaiting for my “waking up”.
The realization that at the end of the day my intuition is right.
That there is a soft voice silently whispering images, sounds, thoughts, feelings...all to flash a way to my soul intent becoming.
The monumental step to acknowledge my desire for astrology and consequent start of years of studying. The peace and alignment I felt the moment I subscribed to the Faculty. The wonderful sense of purpose each time I sit down to study.
I bring all this and much more that can never be contained in words to this Magical Winter Solstice 2012.
I closed a chapter and starting a new one.
I am grateful to all of you out there who have helped me through, knowing and unknowingly.